Sirius-ly
by amamour
Summary: I don't even know what this story is about and I wrote it, but don't let that scare you away. Just some friendship development between Sirius and Lily. James/Lily and sorta Sirius/Marlene if you want to be generous.


Thoroughly annoyed, Sirius made his way back to his room.

_Fuck it. _He thought. Marlene doesn't actually matter. In the major picture of his life, she was nothing. No one. Why did she make him so angry? He half sprinted the final set of stairs and emerged on top near the boys' dormitory he shared with James, Remus, and Peter.

Sirius reached the top stair at least satisfied with the fact that none of his friends would be in their room. It was tough to live with 4 other boys, even though they were his best friends, Sirius enjoyed the time he had alone. James would be at practice; Peter was in detention, and Remus off at the library.

With the happy thought of getting a few peaceful moments to himself to brood, Sirius pushed open the door to the seventh year dormitory to find himself helplessly staring at the Head Girl.

"Umm. Hey?"

Lily looked up and smiled brightly at Sirius. It was one of those smiles that was so overly happy, it made Sirius feel as though she was insincere. Sirius had a, well, _interesting_ relationship with Lily. It wasn't that they didn't like each other; it was that they didn't get one another. They never spoke of it but there was a rivalry between the two over who James spent more time with, and who knew him better.

"Hey Sirius!" she beamed at him, as she was sitting cross-legged on James' bed,

"I'm sorry James isn't even here but we were hanging out and then he had to leave for practice- but Merlin, he showed me this map and its amazing. This is really smart!"

Sirius darkened when he realized that what was in her hands was none other than the Marauder's Map. This was why Lily was here? Sirius forgot about his other problems instantly.

She wasn't a Marauder. It was that simple. She wasn't apart of their group, as much as James wanted her to be. Why did James allow this? He didn't need to show her; he might as well tell her that they all could turn into animals as well. He might as well tell her about Remus. The Marauder's Map was one of their best-kept secrets and James didn't even ask them before he invited Lily up to their room and showed it to her.

_Bloody love-struck idiot. _

"This is completely amazing, Sirius. You could make a million of these and then sell them, think of the money you could make!" said Lily, grinning with barely contained excitement.

See? She didn't get it at all. They didn't need Galleons. They had enough money. And most of all, "That would sort of defeat the purpose of the map." Sirius snorted.

"Hey, and don't you tell anyone about this. I can't believe James showed you that. " added Sirius harshly, deciding on the spot that he wasn't going to hide his annoyance with her even though he normally would have.

"That was also sort of the idea. You know, not have others know about it, the secret map. _The secret Marauder's map_." Sirius felt that he had to unnecessarily explain.

Lily's eyes widened a bit but she said nothing. Her hands tightened on the map looking confused and then frowning slightly she looked down to the map in her hands, as if looking to it for advice on what to do next.

"He showed it to me for a good reason. Someone was stealing gold from the trophy room and it was this huge ordeal. " said Lily. Sirius who would have normally found that amusing did not even crack a smile. He remained hard and unforgiving.

Lily hurriedly continued her eyebrows tensed together, "Dumbledore had a meeting with us because they didn't know who was doing it. But then James showed me this map and we caught the kid. Alexander Pilias. Its not like he just rushed me up here to reveal all your secrets, Sirius. It was Head Boy and Girl stuff. "

Sirius frowned. It wasn't the point, really. Lily would never understand that, it would seem. He was still annoyed with her but then, he thought bitterly, he was always annoyed with her. It was just because she just kept intruding on his life now that she was officially dating James.

It wasn't that Sirius didn't like Lily, it's just that he didn't really get why James fancied her so much in the first place. She was just kind of annoying. A nuisance, really. _Okay, he didn't like her. _

Sirius had other problems on his mind to really take the effort to keep arguing with his best mate's very intrusive girlfriend. Even if it was for head boy reasons, James shouldn't have shown Lily the map.

"I'm sorry." said Lily softy, but she did nothing to leave the room.

Sirius sighed heavily. Somehow, he knew he was always going to have to deal with the persistent presence of Lily Evans.

"The map is really great!" said Lily brightly as though it settled any bitter feelings between the two of them. "James said you made it in fourth year."

"Yah."

"It's pretty advanced stuff for fourth year!"

"Yah."

"You're mad at me?" Lily asked, picking up on his shortness.

Sirius thought about it for a moment. "Nah."

"At James for showing me?"

"No, okay?"

"Okay, but you seem upset…"

"But I'm not." Sirius lied.

Sirius threw himself down on his bed, which happened to be right next to James' bed where Lily was reining. She repositioned herself after a brief pause, so she too was lying down. He wished she would go away but she was absorbed in the map.

After a few minuets of silence Lily looked over at Sirius. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just had a long day." Sirius exhaled, which was true. His mind went back to Marlene McKinnon and he scowled at the ceiling. _Girls are fucking annoying anyways. Lily Evans, case and point. _

"Yeah, me too with this whole trophy room thief. I don't get why it's the head boy and girl's responsibility. Well I guess its student life but that a lot of pressure to-" She was cut off.

"Marlene doesn't trust me." Sirius blurted out despite himself. He didn't know why he shared with Lily. He didn't even like her.

"She just told me she didn't think she could see me anymore because she couldn't trust that I wouldn't be sneaking around with other girls. Why the fuck. I cant even." Sirius struggled, but it sort of felt good to tell her, however awkward it was.

Lily considered this burst of information for a moment.

"So she broke up with you?"

"Possibly, it was rather unclear." Trying to look as though it didn't bother him.

"Well go talk to her!"

"No way."

They both stared up at the ceiling, lying next to each other on their separate beds. Sirius actually had no idea why he told Lily of all people. She just happened to be here and it spilled out of his mouth. Once he started, he couldn't stop.

"I've already told her everything and she doesn't believe me. I have never cheated on her. We've known each other for forever, and we've had this on again, off again thing since like, first year. And yes, I've dated other people, and I haven't always been nice to her, but it hasn't been like that for a long time. We are good now, finally. " said Sirius defiantly to the ceiling.

Lily just looked at him solemnly and nodded. It was weird for Sirius to be here with Lily, talking about Marlene. He didn't know if they had ever even been alone before.

"Why did she have to ruin it?" He demanded bitterly.

Lily hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was one of those questions you don't answer.

"I guess you can look at it from her perspective." she suggested "You've had a lot of other girlfriends and you have a reputation for, umm, not always treating them very well. She doesn't want to get hurt by you again." Lily ended bluntly shrugging her shoulders.

Sirius rounded on Lily.

"Yeah and James has done the same. Yet here you are. Or did he not tell you?" Part of him hoped James hadn't told Lily and that this would be something that would push her away.

"No, he told me. But you see he has never given me a reason not to trust him. And that makes me trust him. Also, he's not the same person he used to be."

"I'm not the same person that I used to be! I have only been honest with Mar but I guess that doesn't work." responded Sirius bitterly.

"Its like the little things that build trust. Like for instance, I'm here in your room, playing with this map when James is at practice. I could go through all his stuff if I wanted."

"Did you?" asked Sirius suspiciously.

"I'm just saying I could, Sirius. And I didn't because of _trust_."

"Marlene would have…"

"Probably," Lily snorted, "But what I'm saying is she's been hurt by you before, the whole school knows about all that."

"Great." sighed Sirius. "You know that wasn't all my fault, there's more to the story than-"

"I really don't want to get into it. It's been 3 years and we've all grown up so much since then. Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does, if people are still holding it against me. If her friends are filling her head with things like we shouldn't be together. And oh, I heard Emma talking about me in the library! 'Did you know Sirius Black doesn't talk to his mum? He openly calls her a bitch. You know that's not a good sign when someone doesn't even love their own mother. I mean its his mum!'" said Sirius mimicking an annoyingly high pitched voice.

Lily winced. They had entered a whole new territory. Lily had never seen Sirius like this before. Unsure of what to say Lily meekly stated, "Its very sad that you don't talk to your mother."

"Oh yeah and that's my fault isn't it. She hates me. She disowned me long before I disowned her. These people are crazy and rigid and unforgiving. We never got along, but somehow people always put this on me. I'm the kid, she's the adult. You have no fucking idea what it was like to grow up in that house!"

"Sirius, I'm not judging you. I'm just saying it makes me feel sad. And it is sad. What part about your mother hating you isn't sad?"

There was a slightly awkward pause.

"You know that's not why Marlene doesn't trust you. Like you said, she's known you for forever and she knows all about your mum." continued Lily.

"I guess. I'm just always working against this person who people think I am, and I know Marlene values too much the opinions of other people…but I can't stop thinking about her. She's my girl, you know? There is always a sense of, like, we belong together. I can't just let her go," said Sirius the corners of his mouth turning down.

For some reason, Lily smiled brightly. "She's crazy about you! Trust me, I know I'm not best friends with her but I know enough, I've lived with the girl for 7 years. " Lily laughed, "Just go talk to her. And tell her all those nice things you just told me."

Sirius laughed weakly considering this for a moment. It was an interesting idea, but it didn't sound like something he would do so he let the idea slip away as soon as it entered his mind.

The door burst open.

"That was a horrible experience of my life." James declared making his entrance covered in sweat and mud.

"Oh good you're still here Lily, hold me." whined James. He sauntered over to his bed and tried to throw himself on top of Lily. She laughed but forcefully pushed him away.

"No way. Grosssssss." squirmed Lily.

James admitting defeat, then through himself onto Sirius, and Sirius promptly pushed him face first into the mattress. He made way to get free but knocked himself off the bed until he was laying on the floor in-between the beds that held Lily and Sirius. The three of them lay there in laughter side by side for a few minutes as James told them about his practice from hell.

"…by the end I was fanaticizing about drowning in the lake. Anything to get away from these people, really. And anything to get out of the rain. Plus the mermaids love me. So win-win." explained James.

"They do not. They scream their heads off every time they see you," laughed Lily.

"That's just how all mermen talk, love." smiled James.

"Why are we not talking about the fact that your first solution to get out of the rain was to drown yourself in the lake?" mused Sirius, and Lily and James exploded in laughter.

"You're a smart one," giggled Lily.

"To be with my mermaids." James shrugged, "Mermaids like me, more than my girlfriend apparently."

Lily grinned down at James and James popped onto his knees and grabbed Lily by the waist. She squealed with laughter trying to fend off the filthy hands of her eager boyfriend.

"Go take a shower." Lily choked out in between laughs.

"Please." added Sirius.

Sirius was perfectly fine with hanging out with James and Lily to be honest, until they started acting all couple-y. Like now. James had Lily pinned down and was tickling her as she spilled out pearls of laughter. Then they somehow forgot about all pretenses and started kissing.

The funny thing about it was Lily hated kissing James in front of other people. She said she was self conscious about the whole thing, especially with them being head boy and girl. She thought public displays of affection would be "inappropriate considering their position as leaders" or some bullshit. Sirius didn't count as people apparently.

Sirius got up, stretched and made his way to the bathroom, just as Lily really started letting James wrap his arms around her properly. Their kisses became less playful and more heated. This was Sirius' cue to leave the room.

When he returned minutes later, they were still at it.

"You're going to need to stop that. Forever." declared Sirius.

They looked up at Sirius and laughed, but basically ignored him for a few more seconds. Apparently they just couldn't just stop kissing. Maybe this was why Lily was so annoying to Sirius. He couldn't really understand it. Sirius was sure had never been that way with Marlene.

"Go shower." ordered Lily. And James obediently went to go take his shower.

Another clear sign of why Sirius didn't like Lily: Lily would literally tell James what to do and he would do it. It was very annoying. Just the way he acted around her was annoying.

Once they were alone together again, Lily looked over at Sirius and smiled. "So are you going to go tell her?"

"Tell who what?" sighed Sirius

"Tell Marlene that whole big speech you told me. You aren't happy when you are not with her. You would never cheat on her and she just has to learn to trust you and not care what other people think or its just never going to work out."

"What? When did I say that?"

"You just did!"

Sirius laughed, "Those are your words, not mine."

"Well you basically said it! Just go tell her and you can go back to being all Sirius again."

"It doesn't sound like something I would do." said Sirius simply.

"Ugh you are such a boy! Why do you people avoid communicating at all costs? Why." demanded Lily.

"Its just not my thing. If she wants to be with me she can see reason on her own but I'm not going to make some big speech declaring my undying love for her."

"How are you going to tell _me_ about how much you like Marlene, but not tell her? Why is it always a game? I mean this is most likely why she is insecure, because you wont talk to her about it."

"I didn't necessarily mean to tell you, you were just here and I happened to tell you." shrugged Sirius.

Lily thought about this for a minute. "You are just like James. He never talked to me."

"Are you kidding me?!" yelped Sirius, sitting up strait and staring at Lily as though he never really saw her clearly before. "He tells you _everything_. I can't believe you just said that! You realize you spend every waking hour together? He can't even go to practice without leaving you here in our room!" Sirius tried not to sound bitter about it, but he wasn't sure he was successful.

Lily sat up strait as well, "I mean he's OK at communicating now. But apparently he's liked me for years, and he never really told me until about it until a few months ago."

"He sure did tell you! I've been witness to the number of times he's asked you out over the years. I don't get how this is the same at all. I might be losing interest in this conversation." said Sirius weakly.

Lily laughed. "I mean I thought he might like me but he never sincerely told me about his feelings. It seemed like it was always this game to him to somehow win me over and it didn't work. I'm just saying as a girl, talk to Marlene! It's a really attractive quality, when you can just tell someone your feelings for them with no stupid fronts or games. It's the thing that works on girls." she finished wisely.

"And that's why you started dating James? Because he told you how he felt all these years?"

"Yeah. He was honest and venerable, he told me the truth and I found nothing false about it so I said 'Sure, I'll go out with you.'" Lily giggled.

Sirius considered this for a moment. "I didn't actually know that. I just thought he wore you down eventually."

"Oh, yeah, because he's so smooth and charming and he plays Quidditch ooooohweee. No."

Sirius laughed. "Hmmm…interesting."

"I mean we all have issues. It doesn't hurt to just talk about it. Tell her." shrugged Lily.

"What have you guys been talking about?" announced James as he walked into the room wearing nothing but a towel. "'We all have issues, it doesn't hurt to talk about it. Tell her.'" James repeated.

Sirius and Lily looked at each other and laughed.

"Nothing we're just having a heart to heart. Please leave." explained Lily.

"Yeah, you're ruining it."

"What were you talking about? Tell who?" grinned James mischievously.

"Don't worry about it, Prongs."

"We're basically best friends now. We have no more use for you."

"Yeah, goodbye mate." said Sirius.

James sat down on the bed and started playing with Lily's hair. Sirius got up at this display of affection and Lily held off James' hand to stop him.

"Sirius don't leave!" Lily said, concern filling her face.

Sirius smiled at her and said, "I've got something I have to go tell someone."

Lily grinned widely at Sirius as James muttered, "Wait, really, what did I miss?"

As he hopped down the stairs there was a skip in his step. He wasn't cheerful, but it was Sirius Black, he was feeling good about the future and that's all you could hope for.


End file.
